Thursday, 23 September 2004

security guard update

there - some young hooligan types just hooned around the corner and sprayed water at the crocodile of after-care children waiting to cross the road. the security guard sprang to attention, scribbled down the car's number plate and headed off up the hill with purpose.

i wonder if his presence has anything to do with being the last week for year 12 students...maybe these Catholic schoolgirls aren't to be trusted! shock! horror!!

the fascinating view out my window

there's a security guard, who stands on the corner of my street outside the Catholic girls' high school. i've only just noticed him this week, but he is there from around 8am to 4pm, just standing there. something he strolls a little way up the street, sometimes he puts sunglasses on - oh, he just went away for a moment and came back with a jacket on - but mostly he just stands there looking slightly embarrassed and as though he's waiting for a date that hasn't shown up. i wonder what's happened that has required his employment. and i also wonder how he can stand up for that long without getting tired.

and then, sometimes, i wonder whether i've been sitting at this desk too long.

Wednesday, 22 September 2004


this is scary...i have been informed by a couple of people that they actually read this thing. now i feel the pressure to write something! (which is actually a good pressure to be under)

i've been sick most of this week. waa. i'm trying to keep it at bay so i am well for the second kids club we're running next week at st stephen's. how could i lose my voice and deprive those children of my wonderful singing? t'would be a tragedy indeed. :)

so i've been working at home, doing some layout and design for a conference book. i could seriously get used to this working at home lark, although i do get distracted quite easily. for example, i just had to take down the curtain in my study because it was bothering me - it was the one already here when i moved in and of course, having work to do, i decided it needed a wash. oh my goodness. as soon as water hit the thing it let off the most revolting stench, something like fish sauce and prawn paste, and the water went a strange brown colour. so dealing with the disgustingness of that distracted me for a while. but despite this, today i have actually worked almost as many hours as i normally do in the office, which shows it is possible.

the other thing about being sick is i find i read a lot more than i usually do. i've been re-reading neil gaiman's neverwhere, which i have to say is fast becoming one of my favourite books. again. if you haven't read it i heartily recommend it.

Thursday, 16 September 2004

tis a mystery

don't know why my site is still up...ozemail seems to have forgotten to delete it. either that, or it just permanently drifts around in cyberspace. i can't get in to change links or anything, but it's there for interest's sake, until i build a new site with new stuff it in.

of course, that means i will have to actually write some new material. now my graduation is coming up (on october 15) it feels like it's time to admit i've had a long enough 'break', shake off the inactivity and get going. having a study helps :)

i still haven't worked out what i think about writing methods. whether it's better to try and force productivity, doing exercises like piano scales to break a block, or whether it's better to wait until inspiration strikes and then write until that vein is exhausted. at the moment, neither is happening so in some ways i feel like it would be better to try and write than not - often from a dodgy beginning i can find fragments that are worth developing and turn into publishable stories. but for each one of those there are a dozen half pages and aborted attempts at being clever languishing on my hard drive.

i don't think there's much virtue in trying to be too clever with writing. it's better to write honestly and so that you actually enjoy the process and the result, than trying to be the most brilliant novelist under 30, or trying to find the most original plot twist, or trying to write Worthy Literature.

the thing about that i find interesting is that certain writers seem to get a tad bitter when others find acclaim or success for writing work that is perhaps less high-brow than others, as if their efforts are somehow less valuable because the product is popular. the comments AS Byatt had concerning JK Rowling last year for example. i agree that Rowling's work doesn't stretch the mind as much as other writing in that genre, but as fay weldon says at the end of that article "She is absolutely right that it is not what the poets hoped for," Weldon said. "But this is not poetry, it is readable, saleable, everyday, useful prose."

i suppose if all you read is fairly formulaic children's fiction, then you're not really going to be experiencing everything an amazing novel has to offer. but i think there is a place for 'comfort' reading - there have been times when it's all i can manage, when i need something familiar and easy to digest to make me feel better. the harry potter books are definitely mashed potato books, but i don't think there is anything wrong with that.

and byatt does recommend "the great Terry Pratchett, whose wit is metaphysical, who creates an energetic and lively secondary world, who has a multifarious genius for strong parody as opposed to derivative manipulation of past motifs, who deals with death with startling originality. Who writes amazing sentences." so she can't be all bad.

Wednesday, 15 September 2004

the ghosts of theatres past

went to see picasso at the lapin agile tonight. it was great - very funny, excellent performances, nice staging...highly recommended.

i went on my own, though, which was probably not the smart move given my mood lately. i hate walking into a room and not knowing anyone; even worse is knowing a couple of people but not very well. after the initial 'oh, hi' is dispensed with, there isn't anything else to say and you all end up trying to pretend you didn't notice one another. you can't even stand around and pretend you're someone with an interesting backstory, because they know you and they know that there isn't really anything interesting going on, you just couldn't find anyone to go to the theatre with.

mum's comment was "now you know how i felt all those years i had to go by myself to see you in plays". yes, i do. and i'm sorry!

still, it happened again, despite feeling like a total nigel - i sat there wondering why i wasn't doing any theatre. why haven't i written any scripts for years? why haven't i worked on a show? why has that whole part of my life disappeared? because i loved working on shows, even with all the pretentiousness and personality clashes and late nights and exhaustion. maybe partly because of those things. i loved that feeling of three o'clock in the morning, having worked for the last 36 hours straight, dirty and tired, trying to put the finishing touches on a set, suddenly getting a sugar rush and running around like a maniac. okay, so i don't strictly need theatre to do that, but...well, it legitimises it somewhat.


Wednesday, 8 September 2004

yeah yeah

Just as an aside... - the scary thing is how convincing most of these are.

also, seeing as the election draws closer, it's time to revisit this blog. again, scarily convincing.

Sunday, 5 September 2004

new home

well i guess you've found me. had to move the blog because i signed up with unwired and am losing my ozemail account. haven't worked out where i will park the rest of my site yet, but not too fussed as i haven't updated it in so long i don't think anyone will miss it.

also changed the name. vastly different as you can see, but it's kind of in light of the fact that i no longer have a laundry. well, there is a laundry in the building but it's kind of silence of the lambs scary and i don't want to go in there. so it has come to a laundrette or mum's or danielle's. feels weird carrying my clothes down the hill to dani's place, but nice to be able to hang them out on the good old hills hoist. i'm such a cliche at heart. :)

more soon.