Thursday 25 August 2011

Treasures of the trial

Lots of people praying for me today, after catching up with my chaplain and the girls in my prayer group. God has put some wonderful people in my life to encourage me as I stumble through the darkness.  Drove home trying to remember that, while simultaneously feeling completely dazed and overwhelmed.  Then this song came on my iPod and the words are so what I need to pray right now, I thought I'd share them with you too.  You can listen to it here if you want to.

 

Jesus draw me ever nearer
As I labor thro' the storm
You have called me to this passage
And I'll follow tho' I'm worn

May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my heart's testing
With Your likeness let me wake

Jesus guide me thro' the tempest
Keep my spirit staid and sure
When the midnight meets the morning
Let me love You even more

May this journey be a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my heart's testing
With Your likeness let me wake

Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go
And at the end of this long passage
Let me leave them at Your throne

May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my heart's testing
With Your likeness let me wake

 

by Keith Getty and Margaret Becker
2002 Modern M. Music (Admin. by Music Services)
Thankyou Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing)

Wednesday 17 August 2011

so much to learn

It feels like those holidays were aeons ago.

Life's been pretty busy since we got back. Semester two started at college, and if I thought juggling last session's subjects was difficult, I honestly don't know how I thought I could cope with five subjects! (for the record they are Church History, Youth apologetics, Biblical Exposition and Exegesis, New Testament and Doctrine) All of them are wonderful, and I am greatly enjoying the thorough and faithful teaching. But it's relentless.

How do people do a full time load at college, including Greek and Hebrew? How do they do it? I couldn't even do a semester of Greek part time without feeling like it was all too much (I failed Greek last semester, but wasn't too bummed about it as I had already decided by that point to change back to the diploma, meaning I didn't need Greek to complete my studies).

I guess they don't have to work at the same time. But still. I am in awe of them.

I struggle every day with the feeling that I'm an imposter, that I don't belong at college, that there are so many more people there with such advanced academic skills...but this is not a new or unique thought. I know many people have thought it. And I know it's not true! God has brought me to this place, and he has much to teach me while I'm here. My constant prayer is that I will be humble and still and quiet enough to learn, and to let that learning change me to be more the Bec that God wants me to be.