This is why dresses don't fit

I've decided to start sewing clothes again, starting with easy things to get my confidence back up. The Simplicity patterns website is also having a sale (heads up, fellow seamstresses!), so that seemed like a good spur to get going. They also have a handy guide for working out your size, saying "Begin by discarding any assumptions you may have about what size you wear. Then think about the last time you went clothes shopping. Did every garment in "your" size fit you? Of course not!"

So I took my measurements and wrote them down and compared them to the chart and the absurdity of trying to find an off-the-rack dress that fits me well hit me. My hips are a full six sizes different to my top half. Six sizes.

image from here

It also highlights that my body type is definitely an inverted triangle, even though often I feel like an apple or hourglass.

Addendum

You may have had enough bra talk but I feel I have to report in on my first wear of the expensive bra. Seriously. This is the best bra I have ever worn. Doesn't dig in anywhere. Everything stays put. I'm hardly aware of it at all. This was a Good Investment.

That is all.

I am too many different sizes

I recently bought three garments online from Sportscraft when they had a big 'outlet' sale - a skirt, a jumper and a shirt. The skirt is a 14 and fits just perfectly. The only size they had left in the jumper was an XXL, which I would normally avoid, but I loved the colour, it was something like $14, and I remembered that kind of knit often shrinks a little bit. The XXL is absolutely perfect (just as well there were no Ls left!).

The shirt, however, is a problem. I'm not really sure what lapse in judgement caused me to buy a button up shirt online. Being more well endowed in the chestal region, there is often a disparity between my top half's size and my bottom half's size (this makes buying dresses particularly problematic, but I never learn and continue to buy dresses that are either super stretchy or don't fit properly. But that's a rant for another occasion), and anything with buttons is a challenge because you don't know where/how much it will gape. I'm usually quite resigned to sewing in extra hidden press studs or living with a safety pin closing the gap.

Anyway I just...liked this shirt. It's not even my normal style. It's a red and white gingham and now that I look at it, it reminds me of the school uniforms we had at Tanglin in Singapore (though they were red and white pin stripes, and quite lovely really).

But because I wasn't sure about the buttons, etc, I ordered a size 18. And it fits really nicely across the bust, but makes me look like I might be pregnant. It also swims a bit around the shoulders. Sigh. I thought I could maybe sew some darts into it but I'm squeamish about ruining it when I haven't even worn it once - even though I probably won't wear it because it's too big. How's that for thinking?

I watched this video that made it seem really easy (they always do); I had to watch it a couple of times because I was so distracted by the woman's odd voice. I got as far as pinning the shirt, but it's really hard to pin a garment evenly on your own body (I still haven't gotten around to making that duct tape dressmaker's form (mainly because, as I said to Sammi, I don't really want to have to confront a headless version of myself every day)). The darts were weird and uneven and I remembered that's why I stopped making clothes, because I don't have the patience or care factor to be precise.

Also, what looks a cheerful check up close, just dissolves into a lolly pink solid from a distance, and that's really not my colour. Mum suggested wearing a vest over it when it gets cooler. I like that idea. Now I have to shop for vests.

hunting the unicorn part 2

Clothes shopping. Clothes shopping at the moment is up there with rental house-hunting. And please note, this is not fancy schmancy clothes shopping, or unnecessary retail therapy clothes shopping. This is shopping because all my tops have shrunk in the wash/are about four years old, faded and shrunk in the wash/are gym t-shirts. As the weather is starting to get a little warmer, I need something to wear. Something basic. That preferably doesn't cost a fortune, but isn't going to fall apart after a couple of washes.

Have you SEEN the current fashions?



The above are some pretty bad examples but they were by no means the worst of what was on offer and for some reason I can't find any photos of the particularly bad ones online (and I must say none of the models look especially thrilled to be wearing the clothes, so if that's the best they can do to make them look appealing...you know you've got some problems). From a certain angle and with the best lighting...passable. Maybe. In real life, on real people? Uniformly hideous. Shapes and cuts that make skinny girls look fat and make fat girls look fatter. The 'in' colour seems to be a particularly vicious bright yellow that I don't think suits many people, or a selection of colours from the drab palette. Not only that, but they want you to pay a lot of money for the privilege of looking like a total skank.

I tried to be open-minded and thought that perhaps the 'new' shapes might not be too bad once I put them on. I have not looked so unattractive for a very long time. The only thing that looked any good was a black v-neck t shirt - it fit, it was flattering, it had interesting collar details...it cost $90. I don't care how nice it makes me look - I AM NOT PAYING NINETY DOLLARS FOR A T SHIRT.

I did, however, buy a pair of pyjamas. Although this doesn't help me with clothing I can actually leave the house in, at least I'll be comfy in bed.

Mum's knee worsened after all the walking around, but we had to do grocery shopping, so we pressed onwards to Coles. Now, as you can tell, I am now in a foul mood but too tired to do anything about it. Maybe I should just put my new jammies on and go to sleep. Failing that, I'll just eat biscuits and watch Mr and Mrs Smith on DVD.