I am too many different sizes

I recently bought three garments online from Sportscraft when they had a big 'outlet' sale - a skirt, a jumper and a shirt. The skirt is a 14 and fits just perfectly. The only size they had left in the jumper was an XXL, which I would normally avoid, but I loved the colour, it was something like $14, and I remembered that kind of knit often shrinks a little bit. The XXL is absolutely perfect (just as well there were no Ls left!).

The shirt, however, is a problem. I'm not really sure what lapse in judgement caused me to buy a button up shirt online. Being more well endowed in the chestal region, there is often a disparity between my top half's size and my bottom half's size (this makes buying dresses particularly problematic, but I never learn and continue to buy dresses that are either super stretchy or don't fit properly. But that's a rant for another occasion), and anything with buttons is a challenge because you don't know where/how much it will gape. I'm usually quite resigned to sewing in extra hidden press studs or living with a safety pin closing the gap.

Anyway I just...liked this shirt. It's not even my normal style. It's a red and white gingham and now that I look at it, it reminds me of the school uniforms we had at Tanglin in Singapore (though they were red and white pin stripes, and quite lovely really).

But because I wasn't sure about the buttons, etc, I ordered a size 18. And it fits really nicely across the bust, but makes me look like I might be pregnant. It also swims a bit around the shoulders. Sigh. I thought I could maybe sew some darts into it but I'm squeamish about ruining it when I haven't even worn it once - even though I probably won't wear it because it's too big. How's that for thinking?

I watched this video that made it seem really easy (they always do); I had to watch it a couple of times because I was so distracted by the woman's odd voice. I got as far as pinning the shirt, but it's really hard to pin a garment evenly on your own body (I still haven't gotten around to making that duct tape dressmaker's form (mainly because, as I said to Sammi, I don't really want to have to confront a headless version of myself every day)). The darts were weird and uneven and I remembered that's why I stopped making clothes, because I don't have the patience or care factor to be precise.

Also, what looks a cheerful check up close, just dissolves into a lolly pink solid from a distance, and that's really not my colour. Mum suggested wearing a vest over it when it gets cooler. I like that idea. Now I have to shop for vests.