crimes against humanity: fashion
okay, so generally it is possible to ignore fashion. you might be forced to look at it from time to time, but generally if you keep to yourself and it keeps to itself, you can live in the world relatively unscathed by the vapid ridiculousness of what a select few overpaid, overindulged wankers think the general populace should wear.

having said that, there are occasions when i have been unable to ignore certain disturbing fashion 'moments' that sear themselves onto my brain and make me wake, screaming, in the middle of the night. when i was younger i had a morbid fear of ending up a fat, middle-aged housewife who wore hair rollers and terry towelling track pants to the supermarket and had several snotty nosed rugrats climbing all over the trolley, pulling cheese-in-a-can off the shelves and opening packets of fruit loops all over the aisles. thankfully i do not own anything made from terry towelling, i do not have any offspring and cheese-in-a-can is not readily available in australia. i have successfully put that episode of suburban horror behind me.

some things still disturb and annoy me.

y-front underwear for women
these are ugly on men. while possibly convenient, the whole concept of them makes me feel slightly queasy. so could someone please explain to me why on earth it is necessary to put a (non-working) y-front on a pair of underpants designed for women and advertised by sarah o'hare? not cute! not trendy! just...not!!!!

strange denim occurrences
we lived through stone wash, we survived acid wash. the latest denim experiment started off, innocently enough, with a slight 'worn' effect on the front and backs of jeans. pre-loved denim. okay, i can understand that. in some instances not great, but ignorable. it has gotten completely out of control. i see people wearing these articles of clothing (women, usually) coming towards me and all i can look at are these strange white stripes down their thighs, stopping abruptly at the knees and occasionally continuing down the shin. do not wear them. it looks as though you have been careless and sat in a puddle of bleach, or leaned up against a freshly painted fence. whoever thought this up must have been playing a practical joke and i'm sure they are having a great laugh at your expense.

hipsters
even thin people seems to have major hip and belly overhang when wearing hipsters, not to mention plumber's crack. the worst is seeing overweight prepubescent girls trying to fit in with the trend and just hanging out all over the place. when will people teach their poor children about wearing clothes that look good on them and not trying to emulate britney spears? at least my mother did the right thing and banned certain fashion atrocities popular in my early adolescence (i'm thinking bubble skirts, shiny leggings, boob tubes, leg warmers (all worn in the same outfit of course)). while i thought she was the devil incarnate at the time, at least now i don't have photographic evidence of my gullibility.

retail hell
we would not have to endure any of the above if shops actually stocked a range of styles, not just the one style in a range of fabrics. oh no, that's right...we all want to look like britney. silly me.

one size fits all
oh it does not.

the singular
pant. jean. shoe. would you ever just buy one? (the worst is thong, meaning g-string in the states and 'flip-flops' in australia...no amount of potential confusion with that one...)

price tags
why is it that an article of clothing that is well made, an attractive colour, an interesting and flattering cut, and that fits perfectly always costs about four times as much as it should? i recently made my first two garments (overlocking...hurrah!) and the issue of how much things cost is even more frustrating as i have realised just how little it costs to produce most clothes. bah.

i think i need a cup of tea and a good lie down (don't need the bex, i'm already bec enough).