Tuesday 18 March 2003

all i can offer are hypothetical questions and futile wailings and sighs.

this whole thing is a bizarre, unlocated contradiction - the concept of war horrifies me. the thought of military leaders throwing their weight around and squashing normal people trying to live their lives and stay out of trouble. the thought of the money being spent and the anger on all sides and the killing involved and the struggle and the hatred. and yet, despite feeling sick and upset about it, it seems so far away from the every day, from sitting here at this desk, wondering whether i'm going to move house soon, thinking about my thesis, listening to bjork, looking out at the pure blue sky. it seems as though war can be played out on television and in the newspapers and online and it will be like any other event, mildly interesting, occasionally thought provoking, sometimes emotionally affecting, but nothing that really impacts on my day to day existence.

and should it? should people run all the way to baghdad just to make a point? or go and stand in front of a bulldozer on the gaza strip? aside from us, who sees it? do those aforementioned hefty military leaders notice the person standing underneath the bomb as it falls? "oh, wait, call it back - that's a white person!" somehow i don't think so.

but this cynicism and the feeling that i'm watching wag the dog again surely isn't a helpful response either. and i don't know about vandalizing the opera house being a good way to go either (although i suppose that did get noticed...kind of hard to ignore). everyone has an opinion and most of them i can't be bothered reading. i'm sticking to satire and humourous ranting.

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