staying put

Sometimes staying put is so hard. When everything gets a little tricky or frustrating or hard, my first impulse is always to cut and run. Just go. Just get on a plane and leave. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I don't have the money to just get on a plane and leave, although the temptation of whacking a $2000 plane ticket on my credit card grows quite strong sometimes.

Staying put requires a lot more strength than running away. Attempting to deal with my problems, attempting to work through the blockages, attempting to grow despite of lack of nourishment - it all takes a lot of energy and a lot of perseverance. Sometimes I don't have either and that's when the tears start, the sleepless nights, the complete mental exhaustion, the inability to do anything but put one foot in front of the other.

And the swirl of busyness, the pressures of work, and the weight of obligation continue to pile up.

How on earth could you get through a life like that without God? I've heard it said many times that Christians use their faith as a crutch, but as I've replied many times "of course we do!" Well I do, anyway. How is it a defeat to admit that I need help? How is it a defeat to run into the arms of a loving God who knows and understands what I'm going through? How is it a defeat to admit that life often sucks and the only thing that makes it worth living is knowing that one day I'll be with God and all of this will fall away?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40: 28-31