grillage

Had a great dinner at Dave and Lisa's last night.  In true Dave style, he grilled me on all sorts of things, namely what the next few years will look like for me, what my plans are during and post-college, etc.

I do enjoy these sorts of conversations with him, because I know he is trying to help me think through the big questions and clarify my motivations for things.  And he also gently points out things he is concerned I haven't thought of (he doesn't think he's gentle, but he is pretty good at this and Lisa's around to soften the blows if required).

The main things we were trying to think through is what to say yes to and what to say no to, where my strengths lie, and what ministry might do to someone already struggling with depression.  I have the problem of negotiating the tension between 'this is what I'd like to do' and 'this is what I will have the energy to do'.  I tend to look at each prospective 'project' in isolation, instead of seeing the big picture and how everything fits into that, and although this sounds ridiculous, I tend to forget I'm dealing with depression and forget to factor it in.

So I think "hey I'd like to get more involved in youth ministry so I can start putting some of what I'm learning into practice."  And I notice there are gaps in the youth leaders' team at church next year.  So I volunteer to do youth ministry.

But I'm also still doing music ministry for church.

But I'll also be doing college almost full time.

And I haven't factored in non-lecture study time, plentiful rest time, exercise time, etc.

There is so much good work to do.  But I don't have to do it all!  And as Lisa pointed out, just because I say no to something now, doesn't mean I'm saying no to it forever.  It's just for this time.

Still chewing this over.  But I do greatly value the people God puts in my life to help me along in my walk with him, and to help me think through how best to do the work he has for me to do.