Tuesday 14 October 2014

Limited

I'm limited. Just look at me. I'm limited. And just look at you, you can do all I couldn't do...Glinda...
I'm lying here singing that to myself, except I'm not Elphaba from Wicked and I don't know anyone called Glinda, so that's a bit weird.

Just reflecting on how much it sucks being limited by my body. I am not well today, but I can't tell if it's because I've been doing too much or because I'm a little bit sick with something. Whatever it is, I just feel like my body is filled with lead, and like if I thought about it a bit I might throw up.

I'm very proud of myself because I finally conquered the floating floor in the cabin and got it down on Saturday. I knew that would take it out of me, but on Sunday all I did was rest at home until 4:30, go to church and go out for dinner for mum's birthday. Yesterday I had a full day of work from 10 and then a post-work meeting which meant I didn't get home til about 9:45.

I mean, yes, those are tiring things, but they're not...unreasonable, are they? Lots of people have meetings after work and they might yawn a bit but they're fine. Lots of people do DIY jobs on the weekend and they're fine. Tonight I have Bible study, and tomorrow night I have bellydancing, but...you should be able to do those things after work and not feel like it's too much, shouldn't you?

I want to wail "it's not fair!" but of course it's not. It's just part of living in this world, in deteriorating bodies.

I have done a little bit of work today, but I'm not really with it. I think it will have to be a sick day and I'll just go back to bed.

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