on the edge of something

So tomorrow I fly to Bali for the Big Hearted Business Creative Retreat.

I'm excited and nervous. I started watching videos and listening to interviews from the Big Hearted Business members' site, as I sit here at work stuffing envelopes. Talks about plugging away at creative work, about taking risks, about tipping points and the importance of letting creativity out. It's revived all those feelings of being on the edge of possibility that came up when I went to the Big Hearted Business conference.

This one in particular is great. If you have a spare 50 minutes, or you need something to listen to while you're doing something else, watch this talk from Darren Rowse (of dPS and Problogger fame). It's inspiring and funny and practical, if you want to work out how to get dreams out of your head and into reality.

Darren Rowse from Chris Guillebeau on Vimeo.

Dream big. Take a step towards realising them every day, no matter how small. I imagine my coming week is going to be filled with moments like these.

Fun stuff!

It's all been doom and gloom around here for so long, it's time to break the mood. Well I'm feeling a lot more calm and in control and while I'm not bounding around with energy, everything feels manageable again. So hurrah for that!

In the midst of all the depression, some cool things happened but I didn't write about them because I couldn't get excited about it. Which is really sucky, because the things are lovely things!

The catalyst for all this is money. I don't think I have a love of money in the way the Bible warns against, but the truth is it is a useful tool that allows you to do stuff. Mum and I talked about it, and prayed that we would have the right persepctive about it, and decided we would apply to refinance our mortgage and borrow a little bit more so we could do a few things around the place. I prayed that God would help me be content with whatever the decision was, whether yay or nay.

Our excellent mortgage broker, Paul, was not too optimistic and was very careful to try not to get our hopes up. But as with when he got us the original mortgage, everything just fell into place and all was approved quickly and with no fuss. It was quite something. So people if you need a mortgage or anything mortgage related, get in touch with Paul, he knows his stuff.

So now here are the amazing things I get to do:

Cabin in the corner of glory land my backyard
I've held this dream since we moved here two and a half years ago, to build a little studio type cabin in the backyard, to be a place where I could do work/creative stuff and not be doing everything from the clutter of my bedroom. We have a long block and it's got lots of trees right down the back, which we don't want to get rid of (they screen quite nicely from the neighbours). But the yard isn't used that well for all the space we have. There's a deck right in the middle, and a little courtyard.

So now we have some money, I'm going to build a little cabin on the deck. I did a bit of research but the one I kept coming back to was from Cabin Kits Galore. Made of wood, quick to assemble, under 20m2 so don't need council approval (it's considered a shed at that size) and reasonably affordable.

So very soon, I'll be set up in something a bit like this, to sew and work and do massages in:

Speaking of massages, I was also able to buy a new table which will be a bit over 2m long so my taller friends won't be hanging off the end of the table. On track to finish my Certificate IV by the end of the year!

Bathroom

And once the cabin is in with its little ensuite bathroom, we will make some changes to the house's bathroom. We have a stupid little bath that I try valiantly to relax in, but it's too short even for me. We're going to see if we can reorient things in our tiny bathroom to fit a longer bath under the window and a walk in shower, instead of the shower over the bath (which mum is worried she won't be able to manage climbing into forever). But if that won't fit, we'll just do a walk in shower and fix up the walls and window sills which are starting to show water damage issues.

Big Hearted Business Bali retreat
I was excited to hear about the BHB retreat in Ubud and applied for it, not knowing how I'd pay for it, but thought it was worth a go. It sounded like something that would be a proper holiday and also nourishing and fun at the same time (as opposed to travelling somewhere and just looking at touristy stuff). It was limited to 20 places, and they were going to be specially selected to try and create a harmonious group of people that would get the most out of the week. Unfortunately I didn't get in.

But a little while later I got an exciting phone call from Lisa at the BHB office - they had had so many applications they decided to run a second retreat in November. And because I was on the original short list, they wanted to offer me a place! Hurrah! And then we got the refinance and so I could pay for it! Double hurrah!

So I'm going to Bali in November. With Clare Bowditch, Pip Lincolne, Jesse Neave and 19 other excellent people. We're going to relax, drink coconuts, swim, have massages, do yoga, and learn/do a whole bunch of creative stuff for a week. Oh I am so looking forward to it.

This is where I'll be - at the beautiful Villa Gaia

It is so exciting! I know we're in debt to the bank, but my thought is you've got to pay someone, whether it's a landlord or a bank. I'd rather pay the bank and be able to do things to make our living space how we need it to be, and for it to be useful and welcoming for people. And to be able to go on a fun trip is just the icing on the cake.

BHB unconference part 2: keywords

Seriously, there was so much good stuff said on the weekend it's hard to distil into any sort of form that makes sense! This long post might be a bit hard to digest out of context.

So rather than a thorough roundup of the weekend's content, take these notes as kind of an eavesdropping on things that I found interesting - maybe something in here will be helpful for you too!

on authenticity / honesty

Fabian Dattner: "Don't compromise your values, what you know in your heart of hearts is important to you."

Danielle LaPorte: "Why would you want to distort who you are in any way to appeal to a different audience?"

Beci Orpin talked about always staying true to who she is, no matter what kind of creative work she's doing. She's different, she breaks rules, she's flexible. But she's always herself.

Missy Higgins: What does it mean to be a creative? "To tell the truth in whatever way you can."

"The best way to bring people on board is to live in an authentic way and show them how happy you are [as a result]."

Correne Wilkie (manager for the Cat Empire): "Live an authentic and passionate life and you can change the world in unexpected ways."

Pip Lincolne: Be yourself - approach your community with enthusiasm and kindness. Be sincere.

on clarity

Correne Wilkie: get clear on your vision - the why, what, where and when. Clarify your motive for taking on this creative business. Also, define what success looks like for you; how will you know you've achieved it if you don't know what it looks like?

Kylie Lewis: what is your why? (referencing Simon Sinek) Keep asking why until you cry or get goosebumps. We buy emotionally - it's often not what we sell but what we stand for that appeals to people.

Jo Walker from Frankie Magazine likened people in a newsroom to lazy monkeys and your product/service/idea as a banana. She said to get their attention, "don't just throw bananas"; you've got to mash and mash and mash it up, so that it's easy to eat, and so the monkey wants it. So basically, you've got to be totally clear on what you're selling and why it would work for that magazine's audience, and then tell the story simply ("no weird waffle language").

Danielle LaPorte: instead of striving for external goals that we hope will make us feel a certain way when we achieve them yet almost certainly disappoint (like 'publish a bestseller' or 'make a million dollars'), turn it around and clarify how you want to feel - what do I need to do to feel the way I want to? Use that to inform your decision making.

Being clear about how you want to feel can interrupt the struggle: "this is not how I want to feel", so you make different decisions.

Fabian Dattner: if you're complaining about doing too much stuff, you're not clear about why you're doing what you're doing. Learn to say no - if you're doing too much, stop something!

Cath Nolan: when it comes to contract stuff, asking for what you want necessarily requires you to know what you want!

Paul Mason: in applying for grants or any kind of funding, clarity is so important. You need to be able to communicate your plans and ideas clearly.

Missy Higgins: figure out what makes you happy and make it your first priority at all times - not what others say you should be making you happy.

on connection / relationships

Correne Wilkie: What qualities do you want in the people around you? Respect others working in your sphere; don't see them as competitors, but as your community.

Clare Bowditch: marketing isn't scary, it's just about the relationship you have with the people who are interested in what you do.

Pip Lincolne: be supportive. Share the work and achievements of people you admire. Be collaborative, not competitive. Work with others: open your heart and mind, challenge yourself and invite others in.

Kylie Lewis: as humans we are always looking for connection.

Danielle LaPorte: try to only work with people who resonate with the same values as you do

Fabian Dattner: Work with others - you are not alone! Only a tiny percentage of people can create, initiate and succeed alone. Value people with wildly different skills to your own.

Missy Higgins: "All people need is to feel like they're not alone...simply by telling our stories we're keeping people company."

on self care

Correne Wilkie: self-support is vital. Know your limitations and what you need to be healthy. Eat real food (that doesn't have a barcode and has only one ingredient). Move in whatever way makes you feel good.

Missy Higgins: Look after your body and your mind will thank you. Find your limits and respect your body.

To that end, during the weekend we:

• ate incredible fresh food that sustained us, rather than giving us sugar highs
• did mini yoga bits and meditations
• danced like mad things to Happy when we needed a stretch
• laughed a lot

on gratitude

Missy Higgins talked about changing her focus to be one of gratitude, and how it completely changed her world.

The multi-passionates panellists were asked the question, "how do you choose what passion to go for?" I can't remember who said it (I think it was Danielle LaPorte), but someone said that you pick whatever generates the most enthusiasm and gratitude, both from you and from the people you're connecting with.

That leads into...

Neighbourhood cat sez "just start!"

on just starting

From the multi-passionates: "Pick something and just start". There's no wrong thing. 

Fabian Dattner: don't panic when there is a lack of clarity, when you hear other peoples' success stories and question whether you can do it. 

Pip Lincolne: be brave. Just start. Take risks, do your thing, speak to your people.

Correne Wilkie: Just take action. "When are you going to start? Now...and now...and now. Do something every day to move forward."

Big Hearted Business unconference: part 1

So it's been a week since my fantastic, wonderful, exhausting weekend in Melbourne at Clare Bowditch's Big Hearted Business (un)conference. Work's been so busy I feel like I've hardly been able to reflect, but now's the time on this lovely sunny Sydney day.

I've decided I'll post a bit about my experience and vibe of the thing, and then do individual posts about the main ideas I took away from the weekend, rather than conflating them all in one mega post, because there was so much good stuff I want to savour it!

But if you're a tl;dr person, the short version is: it was wonderful and worth every cent and you should totally come next year.

So I flew in to Melbourne on Friday night, checked in to the Jasper Hotel (just next to Queen Vic Market). I had decided that as I was on my own and already feeling a little trepidatious about the whole thing I would take the path of least stress wherever I could, and planned to just catch taxis everywhere (except to and from the airport - I could manage that on buses). Although Melbourne's public transport is excellent and Karen had loaned me her Myki card, I just knew that trying to figure out how to get around and the extra time it would take to get everywhere would stress and tire me out.

First thing on Saturday I went to the Queen Vic Markets and bought coffee and a pastry for breakfast from Market Lane Coffee and then some olive bread, delice de Bourgogne cheese and shaved ham - this would form my yummy hotel picnic dinner for the next two nights, and I'm so glad I did it because by the end of the day I had no energy to go out foraging for food (there was a McDonald's right next to my hotel and I was determined not to set foot in it so I needed to be prepared).

My taxi driver was the kind of guy you want in a taxi driver, friendly, gregarious and interesting. We chatted about all sorts of things on the way to Northcote, which was kind of like a warm up for me in talking to strangers for the day, and unusual because I don't normally engage in much conversation with taxi drivers.

I arrived at the Regal Ballroom and joined the long queues of smiling women (and a few gents) going round the corner. The interior of the 1912 ballroom was lovely; a soaring ceiling, old fashioned chandeliers, a stage under a proscenium arch, framed by trees, and with a cosy looking couch in the centre. Clare said a few times during the weekend that they had deliberately chosen a space that wasn't a cold, sterile convention centre, so in exchange for the character of the space there would inevitably be things like AV issues, unexpected sounds (like the sound of our lunch being prepared in the kitchen behind the stage), and bathroom issues (there were only six toilets, one of which got blocked) - but nobody minded.

Because filling the room were over 500 people (apparently around 470 women and 30 men) who were eager to be inspired, encouraged, filled up and who wanted to change the world...in big ways and little ways. A room full of big hearted people.

If I had to choose one word to sum up the vibe of the weekend, I think it would be GENEROUS. Every speaker gave of themselves and their life experience in such a real and honest way. We were encouraged to share our own skills to help others in their creative business by donating a skill or item on the sharing tree, and people gave lavishly (and those who donated a 'leaf' were allowed to pick one...though I don't think anyone picked mine. But that's okay).

The sponsors donated such wonderful gifts for our goodie bags (I'll do a sponsor post later). The food - oh! the food - yes, it somehow felt generous too. Not measly little shrink wrapped portions of stuff like at most conferences, but abundant, delicious, fresh and waste-free (everything was served in jars, which were washed and reused). I loved that when Joost Bakker was talking about it, he said he had picked a lot of the food we would be eating himself, and even his kids had helped pick the chestnuts.

Basically I wanted to take the essence of the weekend and just live in it forever.

Part of the idea of gathering us all together was that we would make connections with each other. Now that's something I was a bit nervous about, and I don't think I 'sold' myself very well to the few people I talked to. But I sat next to lovely women who were easy to chat to, and we agreed that the great part about it was that everyone was in a different place on the journey - it wasn't like it was a roomful of highly motivated people who all knew how to be successful and were networking (ugh). There were people who didn't know what they wanted to do, but were exploring; there were people who were already striving in their chosen field but needed inspiration; there were people who were full of experience and willing to help.

One connection I made that was more than 'so what brought you here' was with Nerea. I had seen her in the room on the Saturday, her fiery red curls unmissable in a crowd. When I went to the sharing tree on the Sunday to pick a leaf, it was really hard to decide, but when I saw her leaf offering a sterling silver pendant and signed off with a smiling face topped with red curls, I knew that was the one. I found her in the crowd and really enjoyed meeting her. She so generously agreed to have a go at creating my TalulaMei doll logo in sterling silver (and she's already done it! I will show you when it arrives). Fittingly, her brand name, Rulitos, means 'little curls'!

As for what the speakers actually said? I went over my pages and pages of notes while on the plane back to Sydney, and circled the words/ideas that kept recurring across the various speakers' talks (or the ones that resonated with me, anyway). I came up with:

• gratitude
• authenticity / honesty
• clarity, both of why they did what they did and how they wanted to feel in life
• connection / relationships
• self care
• just starting something, even if you're not sure it's the right thing

I'll do individual posts on each of those with tasty quotes from the speakers.

I'm definitely going to go next year (if they hold it next year!). It was such a refreshing drink for my creative self, and an encouragement to keep going and exploring and learning and doing. Time to start my savings plan now!

If you want to come, you should put your name down on the BHB mailing list - they send out excellent inspiration bombs and positive emails, and you'll be the first to hear about any events or cool things they're doing (like a creative yoga retreat in Bali with Clare Bowditch and Jess Neave...oh how wonderful that would be!).

That's all for now...more big hearted business very soon...

So I didn't win a scholarship, but this email is basically why I think Clare Bowditch rocks

Dear Eighty-Two Exceptionally Big Hearted Humans who applied for a BHB Conference 2014 Scholarship,

It's 10pm, I've spent most of the day battling naughty X-cel spreadsheets, calculating judges scores and preparing for our "Winners Announcement" tomorrow afternoon.

Right now, I need to take "time-out" for a moment and  let you know something. You ready? Here goes.

Tomorrow afternoon when we announce our winners, we're gonna f*ck it up.

'Scuse the French, but it's true. We're gonna get it wrong.

As hard as we've tried to choose the most worthy applicants, we're gonna let some of you down.

We're gonna appear to have missed some legendary ideas, we're gonna appear to have overlooked many of those who dearly deserve to come, and we're gonna let you down. That's just what happens when it you mix humans with humans.

So, in advance, I ask for your forgiveness, and remind you that you really should not listen to us.

If you have a dream, and you suspect it means something, and you suspect you've got something to give the world, well guess what?

You're absolutely right.

A short story from my own career as a case in point:

Marty and I talked it over recently and we sincerely cannot even count the number of times our ideas, our applications, our submissions, ourvery best work was overlooked, denied, ignored, and criticised,especially early in our careers when we most needed the support.

I can't TELL  how hard that sucked, how unfair that felt, how much that hurt.

Do you reckon we let it stop us?

Nup. Not a fricking chance. "Stuff 'em".

I took their rejections, I plugged it into "The CB Machine", and I used every morsel of my disappointment to fuel my determination; there HAD to be a place for me, and if there wasn't, well, I'd just have to invent one. Sure, it took a long time to "get there" (and I'm not even vaguely done yet), but so what - everything good takes longer than you think.

And that's exactly what I hope the almost 70 of you who MISS OUT on tomorrow's scholarship turn around and say to yourself.

As I said on the application page: you are an absolute LEGEND for applying. Most people Do Not Bother. Please - keep bothering. Keep bloody trying. Do NOT take rejection personally. Use it to learn something. Use it to fuel your determination. You will never know how close you came. Just get back on that horse, try again another year, and don't let it put you off your game.

This thing you want to do?

It matters. Keep at it.

Thanks again for applying.

More news tomorrow afternoon.

The End.

CB and the BHB Crew xo

 

Joy!

I got 37 votes! Thanks guys! For those who haven't seen it, here's my video submission for the Big Hearted Business Conference scholarship.

Hang on - youtube says it's been viewed 88 times. Who didn't vote?! :P

Also I'm very, very excited that due to a very generous and unexpected gift from my wonderful dad, even if I don't win one of the scholarships, I'll still be able to afford to go to the conference (provided I get one of the tickets which are apparently going to sell very quickly)! This is a huge deal. Thanks dad.

And my absolute favourite comment about this was from Jennie and her son JD (I'm sure she won't mind me sharing this as it was on Facebook after all): "I showed the clip to JD who was convinced that you were going to spell 'Jesus'. I explained that he was where joy came from, so it was all good."

Love that boy!

Vote for me!

Hello! If you don't have time to read this, just click here and vote for me. :) But if you want to know what it's about, keep reading.

It's been a busy few weeks. Work is full on at the moment, in that unrelenting way that it sometimes seems to have. I'm trying just to do my work in bite sized chunks, rather than being overwhelmed by the whole of it. I never seem to have a 'down season'. But then, as mum pointed out to me today, at her work (also a not for profit Christian organisation), they have three full time people and one part time person doing my job.

I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse.

On the creative pursuits front, I did Glebe Markets with my TalulaMei stuff - it wasn't a financial success, but it was a worthwhile experiment, if only to teach me that just because people like your stuff doesn't mean they'll buy it if it's in the wrong context! People wanted bargains at Glebe Markets, not handmade stuff. Well, at least I know that now! As Guy would mutter, when people commented that Sammi's dolls at my neighbouring stall were cute: "Cute don't pay the bills!" So now I know that not just any market will do. It has to be the right market.

But the reason for this post is I need your help.

I've made a 2 minute video answering the question "How does my creativity contribute to the world?" as part of my application to get a Big Hearted Business conference scholarship (worth about $500). I'm not sure I know enough people to get the max number of votes required for the peoples' choice award, but it doesn't hurt to try, right? (and who knows, maybe I'll win one of the other scholarships!)

Even though details of the conference haven't been released yet, I know from what I've seen of last year's event that it will be inspiring, nourishing, exciting, challenging, and I really, really, really want to go. Making the video was a good exercise - I am assuming that the reason behind asking entrants to do something creative and with only a couple of weeks' notice was to get people making things, exploring the reasons they do what they do, and not getting hung up on perfectionism. I had different ideas for the video but in the end just had to do it. I wrote something, filmed it and put it on youtube in a little over an hour. Just got to get it out there!

Voting is on Facebook, so if you have a Facebook account, please watch my video (it should be the top one on the page) and click the little vote button! Voting is open until Sunday and you can vote once a day, so...you know...vote often!

After Sunday I'll put the video up here, but I'll send you to watch it via the link for now so as not to confuse the voting issue.

Thank you in advance!

Vote for Bec!