on the edge of something

So tomorrow I fly to Bali for the Big Hearted Business Creative Retreat.

I'm excited and nervous. I started watching videos and listening to interviews from the Big Hearted Business members' site, as I sit here at work stuffing envelopes. Talks about plugging away at creative work, about taking risks, about tipping points and the importance of letting creativity out. It's revived all those feelings of being on the edge of possibility that came up when I went to the Big Hearted Business conference.

This one in particular is great. If you have a spare 50 minutes, or you need something to listen to while you're doing something else, watch this talk from Darren Rowse (of dPS and Problogger fame). It's inspiring and funny and practical, if you want to work out how to get dreams out of your head and into reality.

Darren Rowse from Chris Guillebeau on Vimeo.

Dream big. Take a step towards realising them every day, no matter how small. I imagine my coming week is going to be filled with moments like these.

the bizarre subconscious

I've been having really odd dreams lately. Most of them I can't remember the specifics of, just that they left me feeling really strange when I woke up, as though the dreams might be true but I need to think about it for a moment before I can make that call.

Things like driving the most gorgeous black BMW 4WD and feeling all excited about it and then realising that it was just a beautiful shell with the same dodgy insides of the Kitty Kar underneath (though I must say since getting new brake fluid, the Kitty Kar has been purring along quite nicely). Or like having long involved conversations with people and having to work out before I talk to the person again whether the conversation was real or a dream.

Or like going to the gym and discovering that all the equipment I needed to use had been replaced by arcade games, like that one where you have to put your feet on the right spots to dance, or fuzeball or space invaders. And I was getting most disgruntled that every time I tried to do any exercise I'd be confounded by the fact that the machine was, well, not designed for that. So I marched over to the front desk to complain and found that they had set up all these tables and chairs in the spin room and the big class area and were having a black tie function and I was told off for interrupting.

Dave just shrugged and said "well obviously there's something getting in the way of you achieving your goals. like playing computer games." and because it is true that I spend a lot of time on my computer, yet I disagree that it's preventing me from achieving my goals, I chose to ignore his analysis and just accept the fact that I have a weird brain.